A few weeks ago, I wrote the blog “The Burning of the Flags.” We had a vandal who came through the neighborhood and burned several garden flags which said things like “science is real,” and “black lives matter,” and “Love is Love,” etc. The person was caught on camera, but you couldn’t see his face. Police notified, reports generated.
A week later he struck again, this time slashing a couple of yard signs with a box cutter, slashing my newly replaced garden flag, and leaving a large dent in my car. A video was taken, but again, you couldn’t see his face. Another set of police reports and several newly installed cameras on a few houses, mine included.
Another neighbor – the one who shot a video of him walking away after slashing a sign – saw him walk past on another day and saw which house he went in to. We now knew where he lived. This same neighbor struck up a conversation with him the next time he saw him and got his name and phone number. We now had our suspect.
The police were notified, and we were told the information would be added to the report. And then we waited. Initially nothing happened. So, yesterday, my wife went over to his house and spoke with his mother. She “warned” her of a vandal in the neighborhood burning and slashing signs, and denting my car, and showed her the pictures of the young man. The mother asked to take the phone in the house for a minute and then came back out and thanked her for the info.
Less than a half hour later the mother came by our house and, with tears rolling down her cheeks, she apologized profusely for what happened. Her son admitted to doing this. Through her tears she explained he was in therapy with anger management issues. The pandemic and the isolation had been extremely difficult for him. She made no excuses. She simply stated this as a fact. And she promised he would be by the next day to apologize and make restitution for the car damage. She also said after she talked with him, he said “I don’t even want to be here! I wish I were dead!” And then the tears simply poured out.
I can’t even imagine what she’s feeling. Can’t. Even. Imagine.
Her emotion was raw and honest and scared and frustrated and angry and sad and lost. I could see it all. It was real and it was a reflection if the unconditional love a mother has for her son, and her desperate wish to exorcise the demons he was fighting, fix what’s been broken, and light up the darkness he seems to be enveloped in. I feel for her. And him. And the rest of the family. These are not easy times, and the young folks among us seem to be struggling more so than the adults.
So many challenges occurring at the same time. The ballooning of social media sites, the political vitriol, the pandemic, racism and bigotry, wars, gun violence, and the overwhelming desire to fit in. Our young folks are faced with incredible pressures from all sides and sometimes, like a pressure cooker where the lid isn’t fastened properly, the contents can no longer be contained. Something must give.
We can’t put these genies back in their bottles. They’re here to stay and we all must learn to adapt. It won’t be easy, as we can already see. But our evolution depends on that very human ability to adapt. I feel for these kids, growing up in a world filled with confusion and chaos. But like the young man who trespassed, I’m willing to give them all the benefit of the doubt. Wisdom develops when we learn from our mistakes, take responsibility for our actions, and move forward. Because forward is the only direction we have.
Case closed.
Namaste 🙏
~jwb~
Ball of Confusion (The Temptations, 1970)
People moving out, people moving in
Why, because of the color of their skin
Run, run, run but you sure can’t hide
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth
Vote for me and I’ll set you free
Rap on, brother, rap on
Well, the only person talking about love thy brother is the preacher
And it seems nobody’s interested in learning but the teacher
Segregation, determination, demonstration, integration
Aggravation, humiliation, obligation to our nation
Ball of confusion
Oh yeah, that’s what the world is today
Hey, hey
The sale of pills are at an all-time high
Young folks walking round with their heads in the sky
The cities ablaze in the summer time
And the beat goes on
Evolution, revolution, gun control, sound of soul
Shooting rockets to the moon, kids growing up too soon
Politicians say more taxes will solve everything!
And the band played on
So, round and around and around we go
Where the world’s headed, nobody knows
Oh, great googa-looga, can’t you hear me talking to you
Just a ball of confusion
Oh yeah, that’s what the world is today
Fear in the air, tension everywhere
Unemployment rising fast, the Beatles new record’s a gas
And the only safe place to live is on an Indian reservation
And the band played on
Eve of destruction, tax deduction, city inspectors, bill collectors
Mod clothes in demand, population out of hand, suicide, too many bills
Hippies moving to the hills, people all over the world are shouting, end the war
And the band played on
Great googa-looga, can’t you hear me talking to you
Sayin’ ball of confusion
That’s what the world is today, hey, hey
Let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya
Sayin’, ball of confusion
That’s what the world is today, hey, hey
Songwriters: Norman Whitfield / Barrett Strong