Body Parts

If you were to ask, “What do you look at first, when you meet someone?” you would, no doubt, receive a variety of answers. And, probably, a great difference between where men’s eyes focus versus women’s. Right? Personally, I like hands. I look at people’s hands. Not only do they tell a story, but to me, they can also be very attractive. Well, hands and teeth. People with beautiful smiles, created by white, even teeth and healthy pink gums. This is what I see first when I look at someone. I think the reason I focus on these two aspects first is because they are the two areas I have never been satisfied with on myself. I am envious of those who have nice hands and nice teeth. And if they have both? Just shoot me.

My fingers are short, not long and slender and artistic looking; my nails have lots of ridges in them and break easily, and my cuticles tend to crack and split and then I tend to gnaw on them, an annoying habit from my developmental years (thank you, Dad!). In my eyes, they’ve never been attractive hands. My teeth? Well, they’ve challenged me most of my life, with cavities when I was younger, gum disease and bone loss as an adult.  Being a little “long in the tooth,” as the saying goes, has a two-fold meaning for me and, sadly, I fully understand how that expression came to be. Now that most of my teeth are crowned, they look decent enough, and I no longer find myself hiding my mouth behind my hands.  But the fact is, they’re just not naturally pretty and they continue to add stress to my life as the bone loss continues. Thousands and thousands of dollars later, after years of dental work and care. Heavy sigh.

But then, as I was thinking about this the other day, my first thought was, who am I to complain? First I focused on my hands. I have four fingers and one thumb per hand and no arthritis. They are not disfigured in any way. They work just fine. They are typing now. They can grip things; they can operate tools (not well, but not the fault of the hands); they can carry grocery bags and haul trash bags; they can hold soap and operate a tooth brush; they can operate a knife and a fork and lift a cup of coffee; they can pet cats and dogs and feel the subtle differences in fur; they can hug and caress, and they can lend a hand whenever needed. Who am I to complain? I look around and see people who have lost fingers or parts thereof; who have hands which have been burned and scarred for life; who have crippling and debilitating arthritis; who have had strokes and now have hands that are useless, forced into unnatural and inoperable claws, and I have seen those who have no hands. So I ask again, who am I to complain?

My teeth? At least I have been fortunate enough to be able to have dental work, allowing me to share my smiles with the world instead of hiding them. They are not perfect, but they are pleasing enough and, for the most part they, too, work. I can bite and chew with the best of ’em. And, yes, someday I suspect I may end up with dentures, but who am I to complain? Many people suffer with extremely serious issues with their teeth and gums, and don’t have the wherewithal to have anything done, leaving empty slots where teeth once resided and harboring potentially deadly infections which can travel throughout their body, wreaking havoc in a myriad of other areas. Once more I am forced to ask, who am I to complain?

So I’m not.  I’m done with the complaining, at least about my hands and teeth (still working on all the other daily complaints I find strolling through my mind). It’s time to shift my point of view to one of gratefulness for having that which so many can only wish they had, hands and teeth that work just fine, thank you very much! You know, we can spend our lives wishing things were better or somehow different in our lives, or we can accept reality with grace and dignity and gratefulness. For me, the acceptance of reality provides the opportunity to change certain things – get whatever further dental work I need; stop gnawing at my cuticles – but the real gain is liberation. Liberation from wishing for things that are irrelevant and nonsensical in the grand scheme of things, and the freedom to embrace reality and be grateful for all that I have.

~ jwb ~