The Golden Dinosaur | Jean Berkompas

I find it incredibly interesting that, now some 4 months post-election, there are people still flying their Trump flags. I know they are happy he’s the new president, even though he still lost the popular vote (all three times he ran, by the way) and is running our government, economy, and country into the ground, but in days past, after elections, people used to remove their political campaign signs. But not Trump voters. No. This is an “in your face, we won, you suck” moment for them. They are superior and you’d best not forget it.

On the bright side is, for those of us on the “losing” side, we know exactly what the people living in those houses believe. Because here’s the thing: we knew when the political race was on, that Trump was a bigoted, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, sexual predator, rapist, draft-dodging, twice impeached, convicted felon and terrible businessman, not only declaring bankruptcy at least 6 times but also found liable for fraud with both his Trump University and his Donald J. Trump Foundation. These are all easily researched facts. We knew all this before the election even happened.

And yet, here we are.

So, you see, this is where I struggle. Because knowing all that – knowing all that before you cast your vote – should have, perhaps potentially, maybe, encouraged you to rethink where and in whom to place your trust. Alas, for some 77 million people, it did not. And while the excuses du jour were the price of eggs and immigration, I find those to be rather lame excuses in exchange for tossing aside your morality and ethics. Assuming they were there to toss away.

Which leads me to the next logical conclusion: you see yourself in Trump. He is a reflection of you. You see the superiority complex, and you like what you see. To lift yourself up you must drag others down. And you feel good about that.

I may have been on the losing side of the election, but I’m pretty sure I’m standing on the right side of history. My moral compass remains intact. I have not lowered my ethical standards for a cheaper egg. Nor will I denigrate any living being for simply existing in my world. We are one. Human beings. We all bleed red.

I have friends who are Democrats and who are also friends with Trumpers. And it is lost on me. My friends are, most assuredly, better people than I to be able to overlook that particular character flaw in someone, but I struggle with the thought of being friends with someone who is now cheering on a regime that has openly attacked women, the LGBTQ+ community, and veterans, all groups to which I belong. Not to mention all the other groups being openly disparaged: Blacks, Latinos, Hispanics, Muslims, immigrants, etc. And while I can appreciate the right to having one’s own opinion – your opinions being as valid as mine – when your opinion endorses the cruelty being inflicted every day on government workers, immigrants, people of color, women, transgender people, gays, and families in need, and you can find no room in your heart for treating all humans equally and equitably, well then, this divergence between you and I creates a crevasse simply too great to cross.

I would be happy to go back to the old days where, if we spoke of politics, it was based on policy choices. What laws best support the masses? Where should we spend the tax money collected? How best can we help each other in this country and in other counties? How do we fix the immigration issues facing our country? How do we keep the economy chugging along? These are valid concerns. But the arguments have become increasingly vitriolic. Policies are hate-based, cruelty for cruelty’s sake, and the MAGA side seems intent on finding ways to get one step up the ladder by standing on the back of another. I find that incredibly disheartening.

Alas, here we are. And while my one voice may not matter, the many millions now speaking out together will. I will not look the other way and pretend this is normal. And I am willing to face the consequences of that position. I will continue to look to my moral compass for guidance. I will not relegate anyone –not even the Trump acolytes and voters – to a “less than me” status. I may not agree with them, or be able to call them friends, but their right to exist is equal to mine. And I will always stand by that.

~ jwb ~

There is a new world order coming, can you feel it?

A shift. A cataclysmic shift to the right. To dictatorships. To authoritarianism. To Christian theocracy dominated by white, male, heterosexual men. And I am frightened for this world of ours.

As the Trump regime cozies up to the Putin regime, the minions of yes men hired by Trump are spreading out across the globe, meeting with other dictators, forming alliances with Neo-Nazi political parties, and denigrating democracy in front of the masses.

How did this happen so quickly? A month into this new American regime and oligarchical coup d’état, and we find we are headed toward an abyss from which there is no return. Certainly not within my lifetime. Certainly not for many, many decades.

But here’s the thing: it didn’t happen quickly. As any historian can tell you, not only have we been here before – think robber barons of the 19^th century in America – but the Republican party has clearly been on this trajectory since Reagan in the 1980s, if not before. The writing may have been on the wall but complacency paralyzed the Democrats. We believed nothing could usurp the Constitution of the United States of America. It was the be-all end-all of this great country. It couldn’t be broken.

Or so we thought.

Now, here we are. Quickly learning that the revered Constitution is nothing more than a flimsy piece of paper, not worth the ink used to write it. Unless, of course, it is defended – vehemently, constantly, relentlessly. It was created as a roadmap, detailing the composition of our government, its power structure, its checks and balances, and what our expectations of our government, as inhabitants of this country, should be. It was written with an eye toward the type of country we should strive to be. It was written by flawed human beings who did the best they could with what they knew at the time, so, yes, of course, it is a work in progress. Proof of that is the 27 amendments added to the Bill of Rights to date.

Now we find ourselves threatened by a puppet president who strings were bought and paid for, to the tune of almost 300 million dollars, by a billionaire suffering with his own striking case of narcissism and delusions of grandeur. Shadow President Musk and his rogue band of childlike Muskrats have put their fingers in every cookie jar of this country, now having access to the Treasury payment systems, US Agency for International Development (USAID), Social Security Administration (SSA), the Office of Budget and Management (OBM), The Governmental Accountability Office (GAO), the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), just to name a few. They have gained access to every American’s personal information, and we don’t have a clue as to why.

Doesn’t that scare you? Or do you honestly believe Musk is doing things for your benefit?

Look, I don’t have any answers as to why this president and his shadow are undermining this country and the world, except to say their motives are not pure. They are aligning with Russia against our allies. They are now removing some of our top military leaders. They have proven they lack compassion, empathy, and integrity. What I do know is that if we don’t stand up now and call out what is clearly wrong, this chance will quickly pass and the script will be written.

This is a non-violent coup d’état in the process of forming a dictatorship. I know even the republicans who voted for the Trump regime can see this although they may be unwilling to admit it. They drank the Kool-Aid and are embarrassed to admit how wrong they were. But when they no longer get the benefits this society has long provided, like SNAP benefits, social security benefits for the aging and disabled, Medicare and Medicaid benefits, student loans with reasonable interest rates, reproductive healthcare and birth control for women,  worker’s rights and protections, environmental protections, and voting rights for all, well, then, maybe they will admit they were wrong. There is no shame in admitting you were deceived. There is shame in continuing down a path you now know is clearly wrong and harmful to all the people residing in this country and this world.

Perform an internal check of your personal morals, values, ethics. Do your own integrity check. If you find you are okay with our government intentionally and indiscriminately harming others, then so be it. But if your ethical standards are being sorely tested right now, consider taking what is perhaps the more difficult path, but clearly the more righteous one.

“Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all make the choice between what is right, and what is easy.”

~ Professor Dumbledore, Harry Potter ~

I trust we will all make the right choice, sooner rather than later.

~jwb~

 

Rebel Alliance Council Member: “If the Empire has this kind of power, what chance do we have?”

Jyn Erso, Rebel: “What chance do we have? The question is, what choice? Run. Hide. Plead for mercy. Scatter your forces. You give way to an enemy this evil with this much power, and you condemn the galaxy to an eternity of submission. The time to fight is now.”

The MAGA segment of the Republican base are energized. The regime is now feeding them the red meat they have been craving. You see, they are angry. They have spent what little hard-earned money they had contributing to a billionaire. They attended his rallies. They sat, ears pricked, listening with rapt attention to every word said. Like Pavlov’s dogs, they salivated at the thought of getting their redemption. They drooled. They licked their chops. They listened for every dog whistle. They were primed to follow every command. They have not been disappointed.

This small, inept minority, crave violence and control over others. The level of guilt and shame they have experienced – for not being better than, more than, smarter than, richer than – has developed into a craving to hurt others in an attempt to replace their shame with self-esteem. A palpable ache to prove they are, in fact, better than, more than, smarter than, richer then.

Except they aren’t. And no level of fear, hatred, or violence will erase the guilt and shame that weighs so heavily upon them.

They, like everyone else supporting this regime, are hoping their lot in life will be improved, and are practicing a sort of malicious compliance. They know that following the marching orders of the regime will end poorly for many. It will be ugly. Heck, it already is. Many will suffer. Some will die. But they revel in that. And then they offer to do their part to “help.” To be part of the solution. Threatening their neighbors. Or coworkers. Or someone on the street. People who don’t look or act like them. People who don’t Christian like them. They are not forgiving, and they act with malice toward all – all who are not like them.

The MAGA insurrectionists, who tried to dismantle our democracy by beating police officers and desecrating the very symbol of our democracy, the United States Capitol, have been released and are now free to roam our streets. They are accumulating an arsenal worthy of a small army. They have shouted “Whose streets? Our streets!” and “Your body. My choice!” These are not good people, but the regime has rewarded them for their loyalty. And they are happy to go out and continue what they perceive to be God’s work – and Trump’s, their savior – in an attempt to erase their shame and guilt at being impotent and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. They are simply being cruel for cruelty’s sake.

Lest we forget, there are, of course, those who are fighting the good fight. Our heroes. The independent reporters. The volunteers in community service. Our military – you know, the one that took an oath to the Constitution. Law enforcement. Lawyers. Judges. Those in all levels of government who believe in this democracy of ours and who have also sworn an oath to the Constitution. Those who understand the true meaning “of the people, by the people, for the people.” Those who choose not to obey in advance. Perhaps they are not as loud or chaotic as the MAGA packs, but they continue the struggle for democracy, every single day.

These dark and difficult times are not headed toward an inevitable end. Nothing is foretold. We write the ending to this story. Every one of us.  We choose the type of country we want. The chaos we are seeing is just that. Chaos. It is meant to distract. Like well-trained dogs, the MAGA pack is focused squarely on the leader of the pack. They do not get distracted. Therefore, we have to stay focused as well. We cannot react to every “Squirrel!” placed in our path. Too many squirrels are running around in circles in front of us. We must focus on what we can do. What we have control over. The rule of law still applies – at least until it doesn’t. The lawyers and courts will perform their assigned tasks, challenging the clearly illegal orders coming out of the regime. Government workers will stay the course and do their jobs. And there are plenty of groups advocating for us and fighting hard to keep this democracy in place, to protect citizens and non-citizens alike. To aid the marginalized and disenfranchised. To fight for our environment and all the critters and humans that depend on clean air and water. They are out there, doing their best in support of all the inhabitants of this country. Seek them out. Join them. Help them if you can. Contribute to them if you’re able. They are fighting for you.

The MAGA pack is small and vocal, busy nipping at our heels, but the billionaires will soon anger them as well. And, like a dog that’s been beaten and kicked one too many times, they will turn and attack. Give them time.

Meanwhile, fight the good fight. Spread joy and love and mercy. The dark can’t live in the brightness of light. Hatred can’t live in the shadow of love. And anger dissipates when joy appears. And hope, oh yes, hope keeps the light, the love, and the joy alive. “Rebellions are built on hope.” (Jyn Erso, Star Wars).

And always, always, always, remember this: you’re not alone.

 ~ jwb ~

My book, Resistance is Futile!, was about not resisting reality based on the philosophy of Buddhism. It was about facing reality head on and accepting that everything is transitory. Everything begins and ends. Everything is in constant flux. And we can either accept that as truth to relieve our suffering or we can continue to resist reality, constantly wishing for different outcomes, ultimately creating even more intense suffering. My choice is always to suffer less.

But now here we are, finding ourselves facing a new reality in this country. And this new reality is a regime intent on changing pretty much everything we have ever known or experienced in our lifetimes, and even well before we came into existence. Whether we agree on the new direction our country is taking or not is irrelevant. Reality is what it is. What we must do is accept reality. Face reality head on, eyes wide open, and then make decisions on how best we deal with reality.

I will admit to being an unabashedly liberal Democrat. I believe in compassion. In empathy and love and lifting people up. All people. I believe in us. In humanity.

That belief is, obviously, being tested right now. I know I can’t change the course of events which are in play. I have no control over what others do. But I do have control over what I do and say and think. And that’s an important distinction to understand.

I still believe in us, and I’ll tell you why: the majority of people align in the middle. Whether Republican or Democrat or Independent. The majority of people agree on things like choice and birth control; reasonable gun control; affordable health care; veteran’s benefits; vaccines for our children; workplace safety; wage equity; equal rights; social services that aid the less fortunate and underprivileged. It may shock some to know we even agree with immigration reform and border control, just perhaps not on the way that’s accomplished. We are not so very different.

But the powers that be would have you believe we are. And they have created monsters for us to fear. And to hate.

Most of us simply want to live and let live. Go to work. Save some money. Buy a car. Buy a home. Raise a family. Enjoy a vacation here and there. Live in safety. Have our children go to school without fear. Enjoy our short time on this tiny blue sphere floating in the middle of nowhere.

It’s not too much to ask, right? Certainly not in a country as wealthy as the United States. The new regime seems intent, at least from my perspective, on tearing down our safety nets, our rule of law, our civil rights, our freedom of speech, our belief in equality for all, and even our Constitution. They seem to be intent on ignoring what climate change is doing to our environment and to us. They are beginning to pull us out of various global coalitions which have preserved peace across Europe since the end of WWII, some 80 years ago. It is a scary time for those of us who don’t agree with this trajectory and who, perhaps, find ourselves in the crosshairs.

But we have power. Some, anyway. We can speak up. We can create works of art that speak against violence and hate. Writing. Movies. Music. We can join forums. Run for office. Protest. Mostly though, we simply need to speak up. Make our voices heard. Call and write to your government officials. Speak truth to power. Be like Bishop Mariann Budde. Ask the current regime to have mercy on those who are marginalized, disenfranchised, fearful. Simply have mercy toward others ourselves.

I will write. Say what I need to say. Whether or not anyone reads what I write or hears what I’m saying doesn’t really matter. I do this for my own mental health in a time where I, as a gay woman, as a veteran, and as a citizen of these United States, feel the pressure of fear bearing down on all of us. I will write and I will do my best to be a safe haven for anyone in need of one.

The Qowat Milat, a group of Romulan warrior nuns (of Star Trek fame) have a saying: “The path you are on has come to an end. Choose to live.” This gives you a choice to face certain death from the sword of the Qowat Milat member, or to choose another, less deadly, path.

I see the path this country is now on and the sword that is aimed at our hearts and souls, so I am choosing another path.

I choose to live.

~jwb~

This is what I was thinking about early this morning while walking Joey – caveats and addendums in relationships– probably because I have one friend who is now in a fledgling relationship and one who is seeking a partner. And I think what makes relationships so difficult to navigate – and the initial search for love much more so – are all the caveats and addendums we attach to our search for the perfect companion.

We want someone like us. We want to love and be loved. And then we begin listing the prerequisites: Must like the great outdoors. Must like Hallmark movies. Must enjoy the beach. The mountains. The cities. The country. Must like getting out and about. Must like staying in. Must be happy and optimistic. Maybe not too happy and optimistic all the time though. Must not drink or smoke. Must enjoy a glass of wine, craft beer, or a joint now and again. Caveats and addendums.

And so, as forewarned is forearmed, I offer this piece of advice: that imaginary “perfect mate” does not exist. Just ask anyone in a long-term relationship with an imperfect mate they love dearly.

I’ve experienced a couple of long-term relationships, which I quantify as lasting over ten years. And I’ve had several short-term relationships I consider unsuccessful dating experiments. Some were good and fun. Some, well, not so much. But I don’t regret all of them – it was all about the relationship learning curve.

Because I, too, had a list of caveats and addendums. And when those weren’t met? Well, then, time to move along. When I look back on my life, there was one long-term relationship I was in for which that was the wrong answer. Because I felt my wants, desires, and expectations weren’t being met – according to me and after many years of happiness and satisfaction in that relationship – it was really all about me simply changing the rules midstream. Without, of course, notifying my partner that I had changed the rules. I handed it poorly and unfairly and yes, that’s the one I regret because my actions – my choices – were not based in reality but rather in some imagined idea of what I suddenly thought the relationship should be providing me.

All that, however, led me to right here, right now.

I’m older. I’d like to think a bit wiser as well. I’ve jettisoned the caveats and addendums. I believe relationships should be about loving and being loved in return. They are about compatibility without constraints. It is about understanding that we should have some things in common so we can spend quality time together of course, but we can also have our own “things” we enjoy – and we need not be threatened by those things or the time apart needed to enjoy them. We think we want a clone of ourselves but truly, we don’t. We need the yin and yang a good, strong, respectful, loving relationship can bring.

And so, on this day of giving thanks, I accept all that has come before and all I’ve learned. It hasn’t always been easy, and I surely wish I knew way back when what I know now, but alas, it is all I didn’t know then that shaped me into the person I have become – for better or worse.

For me, here? Now? It’s a very good place to be. And I am grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

~jwb~